Your Child Needs You to be Available

Kids (more than ever before) are being shown images of violence, drug additions, and sexual intimacy� on TV, movies and the internet, and also in magazines geared towards teenagers.

Nearly seven years ago, I nannied for a household that included 5 young girls ages 7-18 years. The daughter in the middle was 13 and she didn't like me very much.

One day we sat down together with her Seventeen magazine. There on the cover was a title that read "Ten ways to give your guy what he wants". We chose to look at that article with each other. One of the "ways" described, very graphically, how to perform an oral sexual act and amaze him with something at the end. Right when I realized what this article was saying, I quit reading aloud and she ordered that I continue reading. I was shocked and fully disarmed - never in a million years did I think I'd encounter something like that in a magazine written for and heavily marketed to teens. The information presented in that magazine was something I have never been exposed to and I was over 30!

Well, the discussion we had after reading that article was one of the most powerful and memorable talks I have ever had with a teenager. Since we read that magazine article together, we had the opportunity to find every feeling and thought that the magazine article evoked. She opened up to me, and I talked truthfully with her. The result of that article made her realized she appreciated me and went from not liking my presence to loving it.

I told her mother about this experience as soon as I could - revealing to her what was in the magazine she bought for her child, and telling her how I handled discussing such a delicate and important subject in the moment. A few mothers would've been angry and would've let me go on the spot. This mother was filled with gratitude towards me and asked for my support in furthering her availability to talk to her daughters about issues that parents would prefer not to discuss but know they ought to.

The the most vital aspect in my mind to being a wonderful parent to a daughter or son at any age is AWARENESS. This means being aware of everything to which your kids are being shown AND what they are thinking and feeling about it. With that awareness comes a natural want to communicate and share with each other.

Kids who know that both mom and dad are there for them, believe that they are important. They receive the message on a very deep level that their parents love them. Kids have to know that what they feel and think matters, and that their parents are present for them in the times that they want them the most.

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Emily Bouchard offers a no-cost ezine to assist step parents. Also check out Emily's blended family website.

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